Dodger Offense Boards Plane for Philly Early in Pathetic Series Loss

The Dodgers really suck right now. Without their offensive catalyst Matt Kemp, their offense is punch-less. The Dodgers turned in an ultra pathetic sickening performance against the fourth place Rockies in a 3-2 loss as they dropped two of three at Coors Field. Nathan Eovaldi turned in a quality performance but the Dodger offense couldn’t provide him any run support. The Dodgers could only muster three hits off of a rookie pitcher with an ERA of over six. The offense is so pathetic right now, I think I myself could throw a shutout against the Dodgers. Colorado scored a run in the first inning off of a Fowler single, stolen base, passed ball, and an RBI ground out from Marco Scutaro. Colorado would add two more runs on a RBI single from Helton, and a run scoring double from Jordon Pacheco. The Dodgers got their two runs when Loney walked and AJ hit a two run home run.

Of course the Giants were playing the Cubs and won. The Dodgers lead in the NL west has now dwindled down to three games. Here is how the ohfer fest played out. The Dodgers have now lost six of their last seven games as they continue their week long suckfest.

Top of the first. Colorado starter Alex White retires the Dodgers in order to begin the game. Dee Gordon, Elian Herrera, and Bobby Abreu all ground out.

Bottom of the first. The Dodgers of course give the Rockies a gift run in the first inning. Dexter Fowler leads off with a single, and steals second. There is an obligatory passed ball that sends Fowler over to third. It’s like a rule or something when the Dodgers allow a base runner there will be some kind of passed ball and wild pitch. Marco Scutaro’s grounder to Herrera scores Fowler to make it 1-0 Colorado. The Dodgers new tradition of crap this week is allowing first inning runs. Eovaldi recovers to whiff Cargo, and Michael Cuddyer to end the frame.

Top of the second. The Dodgers once again kill worms in the second inning against Alex White. Andre Ethier grounds out. Jerry Hairston pops out, and James Loney a signature ground ball to end inning. Bottom of the second. Notorious Dodger Killer Todd Helton leads off with a walk. Jordan Pacheco grounds into a nice 4-6-3 double play. Hairston makes a nice play to turn two. Wilin Rosario flies out, and that’s the end of the second.

Top of the third. So A.J. Ellis walks. After all A.J. gonna A.J. Tony Gwynn hits into a force out at first, but Helton’s throw to second hits AJ in the back and he is safe at second. No double play. Nathan Eovaldi works a full count walk. Good at-bat for Eovaldi. Gordon hits a lazy pop fly for the second out. Herrera pops out. The Dodgers don’t score.

Bottom of the third. DJ LeMahieu grounds out to Hairston. White grounds out. Dexter Fowler is called out on strikes on a very nasty pitch from Eovaldi.

Top of the fourth. More worms were killed in the top half of the fourth. Abreu kills a worm. Andre Ethier kills a worm. Finally Jerry Hairston gets the Dodgers first hit of the game. Going along with the annoying storyline of the game, Jerry’s hit is a groundball single into left field. Loney our professional rally killers pops out to end the frame.

Bottom of the fourth. Scutaro flies out. Cargo kills a worm. The Eovaldi just loses it. He can’t find the plate. Remember his walk per nine rate was around five last season for the Blue. Cuddyer walks. Helton fouls off a hundred pitchers before he walks. With runners at first and second, Eovaldi gets Pacheco to fly out to Dre to get out of it. Top of the fifth. AJ and Gwynn whiff. Eovaldi kills a worm. Still 1-0 Colorado. Just pathetic. Snooze.

Move to the Bottom of the fifth. Rosario beats out a grounder to third for an infield hit. Only the third hit in the game, and second for the Rockies. Lemahieu flies out to Gwynn. White whiffs and Rosario is thrown out by AJ trying to steal second to end the fifth.

Top of the sixth. Gordon kills a worm. Herrera tries to bunt, and kills a worm. Are we sensing a pattern here? And haven’t we learned that bunting is useless? Abreu walks and steals second base. Ethier flies out. Again the Dodgers are being shut out in Coors, and have only one hit.

Bottom of the sixth. Fowler leads off with a walk. Scutaro grounds into a force play. Cargo reaches on a ground ball single that deflects off of Hairston bouncing over to Loney and everyone is safe at first and second. From here the inning becomes unraveled for the Dodgers. Cuddyer’s fly ball to Gwynn moves Scutaro to third. The annoying Helton singles to right scoring Scutaro. 2-0 Rockies. The Dodgers have a meeting on the mound. Whatever they said to Eovaldi, it didn’t work. Another rookie Jordan Pacheco doubles over Ethier’s head in right to score Cargo. 3-0 Colorado. Josh Lindblom is double switched into the game along with Adam Kennedy. Rosario grounds out to finally end the inning.

Top of the seventh. Hairston grounds out. Loney walks. A.J. Ellis then brings the Dodgers back from the brink with a two run shot just over the left field wall. 3-2 Colorado now. Gwynn grounds out. Kennedy walks. Colorado hooks Alex White is hooked. White goes 6.2 innings of work, allowing only two runs on two hits, walking five and whiffing two. He made 100 pitches. Enter into the game Rex Brothers. Alex Castellanos pinch-hitting lines a sharp grounder to second and that’s that. Bottom of the seventh. Ronald Belisario pitches a 123 eighth inning, whiffing Fowler for the third out.

The Dodgers go down pathetically off of reliever Matt Belisle  in order in the top of the eighth. Bottom of the eighth. Scutaro singles off Belisario. Scott Elbert is called in, and retires Cargo again on a fly ball. Scutaro tags up to second. The Dodgers intentionally walk Cuddyer to get to Helton. Normally this is beyond stupid, but I am guessing they were trying to setup a double play. Helton gives the Dodgers a perfect DP on a grounder back to the box. Elbert screws the easy throw to second. Luckily, Herrera makes a great leaping save on the bad throw and somehow gets his foot on the bag to get a force out. Elbert atones by whiffing bench dweller Jason Giambi on a called third strike with an excellent off-speed pitch to end the inning.

Top of the ninth. Colorado closer Rafael Betancourt comes in to pitch the ninth. Loney being the most useless hitter in the free world pops out. AJ hits one all the way to the wall in left but of course it lands a couple of feet in front of the wall for a ling out. Tony Gwynn hits another long fly ball to right field, but its caught and the Dodgers lose 3-2.

I have nothing more to say about this pathetic showing. It is obvious that without Matt Kemp, the Dodgers are doomed. We won’t be in first place very long. The Dodger’s suckfest moves to Philadelphia tomorrow. Clayton Kershaw will take the mound for the Dodgers to begin a four game series tomorrow at 405PM. Go Blue.