Pop Gun Offense Can’t Back Billingsley Meltdown in Dodger Loss

I’m no Sherlock Holmes or anything, but when you put out a lineup filled with auto outs, that rarely if ever scores more than 2-3 runs behind a mediocre pitcher who almost always gives up four runs or more, well your not going to stand much of a chance of winning. Just saying, and follow me here guys. It’s elementary Watson! Auto outs, + mediocre pitching = loss!

So brace yourself tonight when you see a lineup that consisted of punch and Judy hitters like James Loney, Adam Kennedy, and Scott Van Slyke, and fat piece of crap Uribe who is an auto out at this point. Yes this was the lineup for the Dodgers tonight, so the Dodgers needed Bills to be on his A-game in game three of this four game series. Of course Bills predictably melted down in the bottom of the fifth, blowing a 2-0 lead, allowing three runs in that ill-fated inning, and another run the following inning. The Dodgers had staked Chad Billingsley to an early 2-0 lead, on a Luis Cruz double, and a Jerry Hairston solo two-run home run in the top of the first off of Trevor Cahill. The opposing pitcher allowed three runs, and two home runs himself, but was just slightly less terrible than Bills, and picked up his seventh win of the season. Gerardo Parra drove in two with a double, Kubel hit a solo home run, and the Snakes scored two runs on sac flies to win it. Bills loses his fifth straight start. He was his normal mediocre self. Other than a solo home run from AJ, (who went 3 for 4 tonight) the Dodger offense typically went to coil off their mortal shuffle for the rest of the night. The Dodgers were lucky not to have lost first place, since the Giants also lost tonight to Jmac and the Bucs. Thank you Jmac! Here is how yet another road fail played out.

Elian Herrera leads off the game by grounding out to second. Luis Cruz follows with another hit, a double down the left field line. That’s the fourth double for Cruz. Jerry Hairston pulls a home run over the bullpen into the left field seats! Jhair’s fourth home run of the season a two-run shot, puts the Dodgers ahead 2-0. That’s home run number 50 for the Dodgers this season. James Loney, who strode into Don Mattingly’s office and proclaimed he was “back”, whiffs on a breaking ball for the second out. Adam Kennedy flies out to left.

Stephen Drew was batting .364 off of Bills in his career, and leads off the bottom of the first with a long drive to left center, Jhair makes a great running catch, as he reaches over his head to make the catch. Yes guys, Jerry can hit and play the outfield! Aaron Hill also hits a deep fly to left, but again, Jhair is there to make the catch for the second out. Justin Upton hits a broken bat grounder to short for the third out.

Trevor Cahill takes the mound down 2-0 in the top of the second. A.J. Ellis greets him with a base hit to center. Of course Cahill gets Scott Van Slyke to ground into a double play and erase AJ’s single. Juan Uribe follows by whiffing as usual, and that ends the top of the second. Uribe is now hitting .197.

Bills starts the bottom of the second, and gets Jason Kubel to ground out. Paul Goldschmidt pokes a double down the right field line, just fair. Bills whiffs Miguel Montero on a nice breaking ball for the second out. Switch-hitter Geoff Blum flies out to right to end the frame.

In the top of the third, Bills grounds out. Elian Herrera golfs at a pitch for strike three. Cruz flies out to left. Bottom of the third. Gerardo Parra hits a come-backer to the mound for the first out. Opposing starter Trevor Cahill whiffs, for Bill’s 1000 career strikeout! Congratulations Bills! Stephen Drew whiffs as well for whiff number 1001 for Bills. He is just the 12 LA Dodger pitcher ever to record 1000 whiffs.

Jhair is hit by a pitch to lead off the top of the fourth. Loney flies out to right. Kennedy whiffs on a garbage pitch in the dirt. AJ inside outs the ball through the hole between first and second and into right field for a single. Van Slyke’s force out ends the frame.

Hill leads off the bottom of the fourth inning with a double into the left field corner. This is normally around the time when Bills has one of his trademark middle inning flustery meltdowns. Will this be another one? Justin Upton grounds out to short, and Hill can’t advance. Bills recovers and whiffs Kubel for the second out. Bills whiffs Goldschmidt like a rented mule to escape damage in the fourth.

Cahill quickly retires Uribe, and Bills in the top of the fifth. Herrera works a two-strike single to center. Cruz’s force out ends the frame.

Montero begins the bottom of the fifth with a double off the wall in center. That’s the third inning the Snakes have led off with a double, but have yet to score. Blum who is hitting like a buck, singles Montero to third. Of course Parra doubles into the left field corner to score two runs, and tie the game. Jhair bumbles the ball, but both runs scored anyways. Cahill’s chopper to Kennedy moves Parra to third. Drew’s sac fly to left scores Parra, to give the Dbacks the 3-2 lead. Bills gets Hill to ground out to end the frame.

The Dodgers go down 123 in the top of the sixth, against Cahill, as Loney and Kennedy both pathetically whiff. Arizona adds another run in the bottom of the sixth. Upton doubles to left. Kubel’s fly out to center allows Upton to tag and move to third. Goldschmidt’s sac fly to right scores Upton to make it 4-2 Arizona. Montero’s ground out ends the inning.

The Dodgers pull to within a run in the top of the seventh. AJ homers to left for his seventh blast of the season. That makes the score 4-3 Arizona. Van Slyke, and Uribe quickly make out. Tony Gwynn pinch-hits for Bills and flies out. Bills pitches six frames, allows four runs on six hits, no walks, and five whiffs. Bills only made 84 pitches, but hung too many pitches during his obligatory and predictable fifth inning meltdown. Josh Lindblom pitches a scoreless bottom of the seventh for the Dodgers to keep the score at 4-3.

David Hernandez pitches the top of the eighth for Arizona. Cahill comes out after seven innings, allowing three runs, six hits, one walk and six whiffs. Herrera whiffs. Cruz walks. Hairston flies out, and Loney whiffs on a called strike three like a little bitch to end the inning.

Lindblom serves up a solo home run to Jason Kubel in the bottom of the eighth, but that’s it. It’s now 5-3 Arizona.

J.J. Putz comes in to close out in the top of the ninth. Kennedy walks to lead off the inning. AJ who was 3 for 3, of course grounds into a double play. Bobby Abreu comes off the bench to pinch-hit, and singles. Abreu advances to second on defensive indifference. The game ends on a fittingly crappy note as Rivera whiffs on a called strike three. Figures.

There is only one more game until Matt Kemp, and Andre Ethier are back in the lineup. Matt Kemp continues his rehab, he is now rehabbing in Albuquerque with the Isotopes. He is still set to return on July 13. Not surprisingly the Dodgers are limping to the all-star break. Without Kemp and Ethier, this team can’t even beat third place teams. The Dodgers now drop to 47-39 and remain a half game ahead of the Giants in the NL West. Tomorrow is the last game before the break. Please join us tomorrow at 1PM, as Chris Capuano looks for his tenth win and try to get the Dodgers a series split. He will draw local boy rookie phenom Trevor Bauer. We’ll see you tomorrow guys. Go Blue.