What To Do About the World Series as Dodger Fans

The World Series begins Wednesday night. I’m not sure if I’m going to even watch it this year. I’m still incredibly bitter, disappointed, and not to mention depressed about the NLCS. Game 6 was especially gut-wrenching as we watched the Cardinals rip the hearts out of Dodger fans everywhere. It wasn’t all the Cardinals fault though (although I do blame a majority of it on Joe Kelly), but it was also the fact that our Boys in Blue could only muster up two hits in what would be the final time we would be able to watch Dodger baseball until Spring Training next year. Yes, the final memory we have is of Clayton Kershaw melting down, the Dodgers bowing out to the Cardinals, and the wincing pain on Hanley Ramirez‘s face. We don’t have to remember things that way though, Dodger fans. We can replace those ugly memories with Juan Uribe‘s jazzy homerun in the NLDS, or perhaps one of the many Hanley homers we gleefully watched throughout the season, Clayton Kershaw’s Opening Day dinger or one of his many, many dominating starts of 2013, Yasiel Puig‘s grand slam, Yasiel Puig’s cannon throw in his Dodger debut, Yasiel Puig’s arrogant bat flips, the brawls, the pool party, the incredible 42-8 run.

Oct 19, 2013; Boston, MA, USA; Boston Red Sox right fielder Shane Victorino (18) celebrates after hitting a grand slam against the Detroit Tigers during the seventh inning in game six of the American League Championship Series playoff baseball game at Fenway Park. Mandatory Credit: Robert Deutsch-USA TODAY Sports

The question now is, what do we do about the World Series? One option is to ignore its existence. What World Series? A St. Louis-Boston matchup is not exactly one in which I would look forward to even if the Dodgers weren’t knocking on the door to the Fall Classic mere days ago. Two pretty reprehensible teams filled with Dodger villains and bearded Bostonian bat-wielding sluggers. Do we root for a team? No way. Is there a lesser of the two evils? I’m not quite sure…

For me, I could sort of kind of not be as sickened by a Boston win. After all my mother was born in Boston. So there’s that. Yet the very thought of Shane Victorino celebrating his shockingly predictable sneaky game-winning hit is just too much for my head to wrap around. I choose not to even acknowledge that the scraggily bearded Red Sox outfielder was ever even a Dodger. Where were the grand slams when you were wearing Blue, Shane?

Then there is those disgusting beards, and I mean a lot of them. It’s like they all took a pact to grow out these Jayson Werth-like facial atrocities just to mess with our stomachs and our sensibilities. This bearded Boston brigade seems like it can’t be stopped, or can it?

The Cardinals are so annoyingly successful. Eleven World Championships, and they have their sight on yet another one. Can’t they give someone else a chance? Yadier Molina, who may be one of the only players set to play in this World Series which I can actually truly root for, will be leading St. Louis in its quest for supremacy upon that highest of perches. While Boston has Shane Victorino, my most-hated player in all of baseball, the Cardinals have Matt Holliday. Holliday has been busy aggravating Dodger fans for many seasons now with his monstrous homeruns which eclipse Dodger Stadium’s confines. They also have Carlos Beltran who could single-handedly crush the dreams of babies and Dodger fans across the globe with his continued postseason prowess. Joe Kelly, a new Dodger villain who burst on to the scene during this year’s NLCS after he took out Hanley Ramirez with one fastball to the ribs, could use a goggle breaking bean ball himself. (Not that I condone hitting a player intentionally of course). Too bad Kelly doesn’t wear said glasses when batting, but you see where I’m going here. I suppose the Cardinals are the National League representative, and I should somehow be on their side. Matt Carpenter‘s triple against Clayton Kershaw in the NLCS sure snaps me out of that mind set real fast.

Two storied franchises who aren’t the Dodgers. That’s all you really need to know.

October 15, 2013; Los Angeles, CA, USA; St. Louis Cardinals left fielder Matt Holliday (7) rounds the bases after he hits a two run home run during the third inning against the Los Angeles Dodgers in game four of the National League Championship Series baseball game at Dodger Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Robert Hanashiro-USA TODAY Sports

Whatever the outcome is, I won’t be happy. My team is sitting on their couch watching the World Series instead of playing in it. While the Dodgers are squabbling about whether Don Mattingly will be returning in 2014, Boston and St. Louis are vying for yet another golden trophy.

While admittedly I’ll probably be tuning into this year’s World Series, because after all baseball is on and it’s going to be a long, cold winter without it, I won’t be cheering on anyone this year. I’ll most likely be muttering to myself about the NLCS or throwing insults at the bearded visions upon my screen.