The Boys In Blue-Collar. Who will be this year’s Stunt Man?


Robert Hanashiro-USA TODAY Sports

Dodger, your color is Blue for crying out loud. So, why, my team amongst teams have you ditched your Blue-collar players? Skip Schumaker…gone. And the crime of the century: Nick Punto is gone. Now, Dodger, Baby, I do adore you, in every way. Your stadium is still class, and still is a real name stadium.  You aren’t yet called something so soulless as Gray’s Papaya Dome or The Beverly Center Grounds. Your hotdogs still hold the keys to the mysteries of life.  Stephen Hawking has been known to rock a few dogs before doing some deep thinking (or at least that’s how I’d like to think of the professor.) You still have Lasorda falling asleep in the first row, wearing a loud but charming ensemble. But let me tell you what the Baseball Gods like most: Blue collars. You know why we won in 88? Mickey Freakin Hatcher and some dock worker known as Gibby. You know who boosted us up last year when we were all depressed and over paid? Nick Shredder Punto. We got rid of the guy. Who will be that clubhouse jester this year?  One of my editors, Scott, thinks it may be Dee Gordon.  I like that pick, but for one thing.  I like my stunt men to be fundamental guys.  And Dee isn’t.  Hard to joke around when you boot a ball so bad it wakes up Lasorda in the front row.

Image from television Show “How Stuff Works”

”Blue-collar” is obviously a stretch given the pay grade of these gentlemen. It’s more than your pay grade; it’s your work ethic. One of the reasons the Baseball Gods love The Blue is A.J. Ellis. Mr. Ellis WANTS to be there for every game. He didn’t break into the league till he was 30! He plays hard-nose ball and is a diplomat in Blue. The only other ”lunchbox” player this year would/could be Uribe. With his emotions written all over his face, and his kid in a candy store demeanor, he is exactly what keeps the train running over the long long season.  Puig?  Yes, of course, but he needs the older jesters to make it O.K. for HIM to be one.  Puig without Uribe is like Ren without Stimpy–just not as much fun. Clubhouse guys. Blue-collar guys! Who will help out our neurotic stars this year? Not Michael Young, I’m guessing.  It’s probably going to be one of the kids.  So I’ll dub them the STUNT KIDS, and see who fits the bill come opening day.
We came so close last year, and we had a bit of a brotherly team. We were the wild ones: jumping in Diamond pools. No one wants to see a clinical winning team. Boring. I’d be a Cardinal fan if that were the case. The increase in the Dodger’s pockets has set up quite a conundrum. Winning Vs. Spirit. I hope we can maintain a balance.