Dodgers Look To Overcome The Evil Hello Kitty Curse On Eve Of Puigversary


Today marks the one-year anniversary of Yasiel Puig’s major league debut. Or as we call it, the Puigversary. If you remember on this night one year ago today Puig had his first taste of Dodger limelight. In the game he got his first MLB hit and made a great throw to first base on a fly ball for a game ending double play against the Padres.

Dodgers Lineup vs. White Sox-6-3-14

Gordon 2B

Ethier CF

Puig RF

Hanley SS

Gonzalez 1B

Kemp LF

Figgins 3B

Butera C

Haren P

Hector Noesi-0-3 vs. Dan Haren-5-3

That started it all, asPuigmania was born. TodayPuig will look to ignite the crowd again, as the Dodgers try to win the series against the Chicago White Soxin game two.

Richard Mackson-USA TODAY Sports

But Puig and the Dodgers will be battling a nemesis more powerful and evil than any injury bug they’ve ever suffered. More powerful than their arch rival first place Giants. More powerful than anything you could ever imagine. That enemy is of course the scary curse of the hello kitty promotion. It’s here and it’s real. This time the evil cat is in bobblehead form. Why Dodgers? Why?

I have no idea why the Dodgers would ever introduce such a cursed item, but alas they have. The Dodgers must overcome this despicable curse.

The Dodgers have had other cursed items before. If you remember, the snuggie also cursed the Dodgers in 2012 and 2013. Former Dodger Javy Guerra modeled the snuggie in the commercial, and then he started  to struggle with the Dodgers soon afterwards. Before we knew it he was designated for assignment and is now wearing a White Sox uniform. Don’t doubt this!

The Dodgers last night were led by another dominating start from Clayton Kershaw, and then took advantage of two Chicago errors for five unanswered runs to lead them to a 5-2 win. Tonight they’ll give the ball to Dan Haren to secure a series win.

He’ll face Chicago 27-year old Dominican right hander Hector Noesi. He’s winless this year with an 0-3 record, and a 4.33 ERA in six starts. The Dodgers have never faced him before. I guess Noesi was inserted into Chicago’s rotation because of injury, and has made two straight quality starts. However he is 0-14 with a 5.87 ERA over his last 40 appearances. But you know what they say, Dodger Stadium lately seems like the haven where winless pitchers go to get well. Let’s hope that doesn’t happen tonight.

Only Adrian Gonzalez had had any at-bats against him. He is 1 for 5 with a walk.

Adrian Gonzalez651000010.200.333.200
Drew Butera110000001.000.000.000

The Dodgers will give the ball to right hander DanHaren. He’s been mediocre in his last few starts and hasn’t picked up a win since May 12.  Haren is 5-3 with a 3.28 ERA. He’s whiffed 50 and walked just 11 in 68.2 frames. However he’s also allowed 75 hits.

David Banks-USA TODAY Sports

Haren is 3-1 with a 3.76 ERA in seven starts against Chicago. Haren has limited the current group of White Sox hitters to a .220 (18 for 82) batting average against. Chicago has a .573 OPS against Haren, and two home runs. White Sox legend and former Dodger Paul Konerko has a .381 (8 for 21) line with a home run against Haren. Konerko is retiring at the end of the season, so we’ll see if he gets a start at first base tonight. Adam Dunn has hit the other home run.

Paul Konerko22218001203.381.409.524
Adam Dunn21182001228.111.238.278
Alexei Ramirez11113100102.273.273.364
Alejandro De Aza992000102.222.222.222
Gordon Beckham770000002.000.000.000
Tyler Flowers550000101.000.000.000
Conor Gillaspie443100000.750.7501.000
Dayan Viciedo440000001.000.000.000
Adam Eaton330000001.000.000.000

Don’t underestimate the power of the Hello Kitty curse. It’s no wonder the Dodgers are floundering in the standings this year with hello kitty on the promotions. The H.K. curse is more powerful than a Puig home run, More powerful than a Jansen whiff in the ninth, and more powerful than a Kershaw shutout.  It’s even more powerful than the Billy goat curse of the Chicago Cubs.

It’s more powerful than you or I could ever imagine. Somehow the Dodgers have to find a way to beat this. I don’t know how, but if they band together and not give up, and keep fighting, then they may have a chance of defeating hello kitty. Oh and they also have to beat the White Sox too. I urge all Dodger fans to burn their hello kitty dolls in effigy. That may be the only way to free us from this.

Can the Dodgers overcome the most dastardly curse in the history of sports? Tune in over here after the game to find out.

Game Time – 7:10 PM

Go Blue!