Geriatric Dodgers Can’t Score, Puig Exits Game With Sore Hand


Metamucil. Viagra. Angela Lansbury. The Golden Girls. CBS. The side streets. The weather channel. The early bird special at Dennys. What do all of those have to do with the Dodgers? They’re all things old people love. The Dodgers are getting older and older by the day, and there appears to be no slowing down their aging process.

The Los Angeles Grandpas lost again to the Cardinals for the second time in as many days. This time it was by a score of 4-2. Even Zack Greinke was unable to pull them out of the hole. If the Giants hold on to beat theMarlins tonight they will fall back into second place. I swear they all look 65 years old at the plate right now.

A common theme for Gonzo this year-Jeff Curry-USA TODAY Sports

Dodgers  2 6 2

Cardinals 4 8 1





The Dodger’s geriatric offense could only muster two runs on six hits today. The club has scored  just six runs in their last four games dating back to before the all-star break. And when was the last time the club hit a home run? Seems like ages to me. The Dodgers were 1 for 6 with runners in scoring position Saturday afternoon.

It’s no surprise that a lineup filled with aging over age 30’s players are not producing. Look at it this way, the club has four or five players that are having career worst years. Adrian Gonzalez is batting .250, 40 points lower than his career average. Andre Ethier has hit just four home runs. Matt Kemp is 2 for his last 19. Carl Crawford’s rustiness is so bad, he can’t even stay in the lineup for more than a few weeks at a time. The Dodgers have also gotten no production from the catcher position.

The games go by the same script every time. The non-Kershaw starters give up 2-3 runs in the first or second innings, usually the first innings. Then once the club is down by two or more runs, the offense gives up. The Dodgers are 0-35 when trailing in the seventh inning or later. The Dodger bats are simply not capable of coming from behind.

Since the offense is only capable of scoring in the early innings, the only way the club can win in the non-Kershaw games is to eek out a couple of runs to get an early lead, and hope the pitching staff can hold it. It’s really unfair for the pitchers because they have zero margin for error. The grandpas can’t score after the fifth inning. After all by then it’s past their bedtime.

Jeff Curry-USA TODAY Sports

Jeff Curry-USA TODAY Sports

Greinke wasn’t terrible, and settled down nicely after a rocky first inning. The Cardinals scored all four runs in the first inning. Greinke issued five walks today so you know he wasn’t right. He walked Matt Carpenter to lead off the game.

Two errors didn’t help either. Gordon’s throwing error on Kolten Wong’s infield dribbler put runners at second and third before the chairs were warm. How irritating. Then enemy Matt Holliday’s two-run signle scored Carpenter and Wong. Crawford’s bumble allowed Holliday to go to second. Then big Matt Adams slugged a two-run home run. That was all the Cards needed.

Greinke allowed four earned runs on six hits over 5.2 innings. He whiffed three, and now is 11-6 on the season. Opposing starter Joe Kelly, the guy who cracked Hanley Ramirez’s ribs in last year’s NLCS picked up the win. Kelly scattered four hits across seven frames to earn his second win. But it’s not hard to shut down this decrepid Dodger lineup.

To further complicate things, Kelly took out another Dodger when he hit Yasiel Puig in the hand with a pitch in the third inning. Puig stayed in the game until the eighth when he was taken out for precautionary x-rays. They were negative, but we don’t know if he’ll be able to play tomorrow. Without Puig the Dodger lineup is truly punch-less.

The Dodgers scored one in the third. Gordon singled and stole second. He went to third on a wild pitch. Then after Crawford whiffed, andPuig was hit by the pitch, the Dodgers got the run home. Hanley’s RBI chopper ate up Carpenter at third, bouncing off of him and Gordon easily crossed the plate.

Poor Puig surrounded by old guys-Jeff Curry-USA TODAY Sports

The Dodgers only other run came in the top of the eighth. Sam Freeman was pitching for the Red Birds. Justin Turner walked, and Gordon’s double into the gap put runners at second and third. Crawford’s sacrifice fly to center scored Turner, to make it a 4-2 game.

Crawford was allowed to hit because Puig was getting his hand x-rayed. Puig was hitting third and instead Mattingly used strikeout expert Matt Kemp to pinch-hit with Gordon at second. Weird delivery guy Pat Neshek came in to effortlessly whiff Kemp on a foul tip. Then he did the same to Hanley to end the rally.

That was it really. The Dodgers got a Scott Van Slyke single in the top of the ninth against Cardinals closer Trevor Rosenthal. But Ethier predictably grounded into a game ending double play.

At this point the Dodgers need to start thinking of making some moves. The veterans are simply not producing. No amount of waiting is going to change anything. We’ve already played more than half the season. It’s not early anymore. Even the bullpen isn’t the problem anymore, although it still needs some help.

You can have the greatest pitching staff in the world, but it won’t mean diddly if you can’t score any runs. The series concludes tomorrow as the Dodgers try to get the hell out of dodge with a win and avoid the sweep. Clayton Kershaw will take the mound in the series finale. The Cards will counter with right hander Carlos Martinez.