Andrew Friedman’s Regime, and The Bums of His Dreams

Kelvin Kuo-USA TODAY Sports

Stacie recently wrote about the Dodger’s pitching depth woes. You can count Brett Anderson to the long list of injured pitchers now. We have no idea how long his Achilles injury will keep him out, but it’s safe to say he probably won’t make his next start.

That leaves the Dodgers in a pretty desperate situation. Not only are they out of options, but they’re about plum out of bums. It’s almost unfathomable how many washed up retreads the brain trust has signed this year. The list is long and the pain lingers.

Just about every pitcher the brain trust has signed this year has turned out to be useless. Let me remind everyone that this is a first place club. So let’s take a painful look back at the many bums of the Dodger’s 2015 pitching staff.

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Bum #1 Brandon McCarthy- 3-0 5.87 ERA/6.15 FIP 1.217 WHIP

This was perhaps the worst signing of the year for the Dodgers. McCarthy was signed to a four-year 48 million dollar deal during the offseason. He was supposed to be the Dodger’s number 4 starter behind Hyun-jin Ryu. What the Dodgers got instead was a waste of 48 million dollars. McCarthy threw just four lackluster starts before blowing out his elbow and requiring Tommy John surgery. Stacie and I had a bad feeling about the signing because we both knew that McCarthy had a long and established history of injuries and mediocre pitching. A career 4 runs per game starter with good strikeout to walk ratios was never a good idea. There was a reason the Dbacks traded him, and we found out why. He’s just not very good.

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Bum #2 Chris Hatcher 1-4 6.38 ERA/3.17 FIP 1.582 WHIP

Hatcher was acquired from the Marlins in the Dee Gordon trade. He was supposedly going to serve as one of the primary right handed setup options to bridge to closer Kenley Jansen. The new front office raved about him and proudly stated that he was one of their main targets in the Gordon trade. What they got instead was just another run of the mill relief bums. He’s another one of those great strikeout to walk guys who gives up a litany of base runners because he’s always around the place. Hatcher stunk up the place for the first two months of the season before succumbing to a strained oblique and being placed on disabled list. He hasn’t been seen or heard from since. Hopefully we never see him again, unless he’s delivering us a hot and ready pizza.

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Bum #3 Scott Baker 0-1 5.73 ERA/7.15 FIP 1.273 WHIP

The Dodgers picked Scott Baker up off the scrap heap out of pure desperation. They didn’t have anybody else, and why not pick up and start another washed up pitcher past his prime? So the Dodgers gave two starts to Baker. One was on the road in San Diego, and both were disasters. Baker ended up allowing seven earned runs in eleven innings en route to getting designated for assignment. Baker allowed 11 hits in 11 innings, but one more allowed would have made it a Baker’s dozen. Sorry guys, I had to use that pun.

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Bum #4 Joe Wieland 0-1 11.57 ERA/10.35 FIP 6 ER 4.2 IP 4 BB

The 25-year old Wieland was a failed prospect from the Padre’s farm system that was a throw in during the Yasmani Grandal/Matt Kemp trade. Nobody expected him to ever reach the majors, until everybody got hurt that is. Wieland made one start on May 6 at Milwaukee in which he allowed six earned runs in 4.2 innings pitched. He was optioned back to Oklahoma City immediately after and was never heard from again. He really has no business pitching in the major leagues.

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Bum # 5 Daniel Coulombe 0-0 7.56 ERA/3.54 FIP 7 ER 9 H 8.1 IP 6 BB 1.8 WHIP

Coulombe is a very popular Bum with the front office that has been up and down several times as a middle reliever. He made brief appearances last year in five games as well. Of course he has been predictably awful. He’s allowed more hits than innings pitched and almost as many walks as strikeouts. I still don’t understand why he’s here. Oh wait, he’s cheap. He’s earning the league minimum salary that’s why he’s here. I’m sure we haven’t seen the last of him either.

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Bum #6 Ian Thomas 0-1 7.20 ERA/6.26 FIP 1.6 WHIP

Thomas is the 28-year old crap prospect thrown into the Uribe trade. He originated from the Brave’s farm system and they thought so little, they just handed him to the Dodgers and said “here, take him!”

He’s pitched five innings of long relief for the Dodgers and has been pretty mediocre. He’s allowed four earned runs in five frames and given up three walks He has a career 4.71 ERA in 23 major league games. He has a career 1.5 WHIP and a 6.0 walks per nine rate. Something tells me we’re going to see him again very soon, possibly by this Saturday.

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Bum #8 Eric Surkamp one lousy start- 3.1 horrendous frames

There’s no way the Dodgers will actually start Eric Surkamp in a major league game you probably thought to yourself when the Dodgers claimed him. It seemed almost inconceivable that the Dodgers would start such a talentless pitcher. After all Surkamp has a 6.47 career ERA in 43 games, and 31 walks against 37 strikeouts. He’s bad. Yet the Dodgers marched him out to the mound against the Phillies on July 6. Even the worst club in the majors was able to easily score 4 runs off of him in 3.1 innings. He was designated for assignment two days later. Hopefully the only time we’ll ever see him again is in our nightmares.

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Bum #9 Brandon Beachy 0-1 7.88 ERA/5.68 FIP 7 ER 8 IP 6 BB 2.0 WHIP

Beachy is the Dodger’s latest disaster. The Dodgers signed him despite knowing full well he had two Tommy John surgeries and hadn’t pitched in over two years. However he was cheap, and we all know how much the brain trust love cheap injury riddled pitchers. So the Dodgers finally got a chance to look at him this month after he finished his rehab. Not surprisingly, he sucked.

Beachy used to be a hot young pitcher on the rise with the Braves. Two Tommy John surgeries later he’s being mentioned in an article with the likes of Josh Ravin, and Eric Surkamp. I bet he never thought his career would take this arc. Poor guy.

Next: You get what you pay for

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I can’t believe all nine of these bums have pitched for the Dodgers this season. You can blame the injuries for some of these guys being on the roster, but not for everyone. The Dodgers are not the Tampa Bay Rays. There is no reason to run a large market club like they’re a small market team. When you have the money, go out and acquire good pitchers. They don’t have to be game changers, they just have to not be horrible. This is what you get when you acquire pitchers with established histories of injuries, arm surgeries, and mediocre talent.

On the bright side, Andrew Friedman and the new front office is very close to realizing his dream of an entire pitching staff comprised of non-roster invites, and minor league journeyman. There are certainly always exceptions, but when you don’t go out and get reliable arms you suffer the consequences. Lesson learned, you get what you pay for.