Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, Dodgers fans: Red Sox Nation seems confused.
This time it’s not about the possibility of re-signing Mookie Betts after one canceled season in Hollywood — though remember how funny that was? They really thought Chaim Bloom had pulled a master cross-country con job!
Nope! He was simply…directed to be cheap! Oops!
No, this time, Sox fans are focused on the other part of that trade in David Price, the salary dump portion of the deal who also just so happens to be a Cy Young and 2018 World Series hero.
Price will be starting 2021 in the Dodgers bullpen, which Red Sox fans took as one more cue to laugh at the best team in baseball.
Yes, surely it’s the reigning World Series champions who ended up on the wrong side of the Mookie Betts trade, the most callous mis-allocation of resources since Boston sold that other star outfielder to finance a terrible Broadway musical.
Red Sox fans are too stupid to realize they shouldn’t laugh at David Price in the Dodgers bullpen.
Seriously, what the hell got into Red Sox fans? Why are they now among the ever-growing group that believes spending money is bad and teams that do it should be laughed at?
One last primer for Boston fans, for old time’s sake: there is no MLB salary cap. Sometimes you gotta spend money to make money. The Red Sox broke the Curse thanks to an eventually-ill-fated deal for Manny Ramirez. They also signed Curt Schilling. Free agency is a necessity, and sometimes you trip into disaster, and that’s also fine. It’s not only how the hypothetical “you” wins. It’s also literally how you recently won.
This is exhausting.
Also, you know what’s worse than “David Price, expensive reliever”? Not having the type of pitching riches to make such a move necessary.
Reminder that’s apparently necessary: the Dodgers didn’t move Price to the bullpen because he struggled. They moved Price to the bullpen because he was ready and willing to sacrifice for the team, and also because they have seven All-Star level starters ready for Opening Day.
It’s almost too easy to dunk on Red Sox fans, who’ve made themselves into penny-pinchers just to justify the narrative that’s going on within their front office, but we’re happy to do it anyway.
Yes, Red Sox fans, it’s good to trade your entire outfield from the 2018 108-win World Series champions. It’s actually awesome. The goal of baseball is to use 25 different players every year in fungible roles. That’s more fun. Ultimately, you want to know the name of no one on your team. Getting attached to players is for suckers.
Oh, wait, right, one more thing: you’re paying half of David Price’s salary this year.
Boston fans are wasting time dunking on the Dodgers for having too many good pitchers, thereby forcing Price to the bullpen, where he’ll get paid $16 million by the Red Sox just to relax. And all this for the privilege of trading the face of baseball off your roster! Sox Nation really is a special breed that’ll gulp down just about any type of Kool-Aid.
Remember, Boston. It’s not a lie if you believe it! Slurp, slurp. IYKYK.