Dodgers: Astros’ latest announcement feels like slap in the face to LAD

Every Los Angeles Dodgers fan worth their salt wants to get a fair crack at the Houston Astros at Dodger Stadium as soon as possible.

After all, that seems to be the reason Major League Baseball delayed the scheduling of most of their marquee rivalry games until mid-summer, in an effort to make sure as many stadiums as possible could be at a heightened capacity.

LA will get its day in the sun this year, as the Trash Can Bangers come to California on Aug. 3 and 4.

Unfortunately, Houston gets a chance to gloat and pretend like they’re the victim first, welcoming the Dodgers to town beginning on May 25 for an insufferable two-game set.

All the Astros you love to hate, from Altuve to Gurriel, will be active and ready to pounce, buoyed by a full-capacity crowd, which the team just announced this week.

That’s right. Houstonians’ first chance to get back to the ballpark will come against the Dodgers. Just great.

The Dodgers will be forced to face the Astros at full capacity.

Great. Just great. Once again, somehow, the instigators of this entire phenomenon get to benefit, while the victims have to sit and bask in all the wrong people getting in-your-face excited.

I’d tag Weird Astros Guy Michael Schwab here, but unfortunately, I’m blocked, because he loves cheating and hates baseball.

Needless to say, Dodgers fans were not thrilled to learn that they’re about to endure two games of full-throated booing, in which Astros fans will pretend that they’ve suffered some sort of grave injustice at LA’s hands.

Right on, Houston.

It was the Dodgers who installed a tech-based cheating scheme that rivaled the worst scandals in baseball history. It was the Dodgers that lost a manager and GM but didn’t see any of their players get punished. It was the Dodgers that got to keep their 2017 ring without an asterisk and without repercussions.

It was the … Dodgers (?) that dismissed all allegations of cheating after 2017, too. It was the Dodgers’ best player who claimed he refused to take his jersey off because of a “bad tattoo”? Do I have that right?

Turns out, based on ranking the men who’ve most fervently disappointed this obnoxious Texas fanbase, LA might’ve planned their most recent personnel move at the actual perfect time.

How satisfying would it be to watch Albert Pujols turn back the clock and launch another baseball into the stratosphere, untethered until it slams into the train tracks with a loud crash.

Only problem? Jose Altuve might hear the bang and start wildly swinging in the dugout, looking for a curveball that was never there.

Pavlov’s dumbass.

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