Twins broadcaster hilariously trips into NSFW territory about Dodger Dogs

The Los Angeles Dodgers are known for a winning tradition and a limitless dedication to maintaining the culinary staples of the 1960s. You want something experimental? Sure; visit the pulled pork stand and nab a loaded baked potato. But if you want a good, ol’ fashioned meal that’s as American as apple pie (something the Dodgers do not sell), the Dodger Dog will be there for you. Tale as old as time.

Unless you like a thicker, plumper hot dog, in which case no concession stand in sight can help you.

Such was the complaint of Twins broadcaster and former closer Glen Perkins on Tuesday night. Towards the tail end of watching his team get rocked by the Dodgers’ freight train, he decided to explain his displeasure with LA’s hot dog scene live on air.

Unfortunately, as is often the case when attempting to describe a hot dog, eighth-grade snickering got in the way of a good meat anecdote.

The best part? Perkins knew he was in trouble, but he still soldiered on anyway with his desire for a “shorter, thicker hot dog,” as well as his aversion to the long n’ skinny guys. He laughed his way through the mess, but still saw no reason to stop himself midstream. Gotta applaud it.

Dodgers hot dogs didn’t impress Twins’ Glen Perkins

In what must’ve been the biggest blow to Dodgers fans, it became clear Perkins had no interest in any Dodger Dog. The team ditched the iconic and traditional Farmer John brand back in 2021, but that’s no excuse; those six-packs were as long and skinny as anything they sell at Dodger Stadium today.

No, it sounds like Perkins is only going to be satisfied if he gets to be the grill master and pick the product. Of course, sometimes, there’s no way of knowing what kind of hot dog you’ll be getting until it’s too late. Especially if you wait until marria–free agency. Free agency. Baseball marriage.

The Twins have one more shot to take down the Dodgers in Wednesday night’s game. Otherwise, LA will probably stick a fork in Minnesota, roll ’em over, and announce they’re cooked.

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