Cubs fans crashing out about Michael Conforto is making Dodgers fans gleeful

If Dodgers fans had it our way, Michael Conforto wouldn't have gotten a contract with anyone for 2026.

Maybe we should get over it. Conforto wasn't even giving the opportunity to let us down during the postseason — he was left off of every roster — and the Dodgers signed the best possible upgrade in Kyle Tucker. He's the Cubs' problem now.

... but even $2 million is way more than he should be making, and now Cubs fans are being hit with that unfortunate reality too.

Through four games and seven plate appearances, Conforto has yet to pick up his first hit of the season. He's walked once and struck out seven times.

Conforto signed a minor league deal with the Cubs in the offseason and broke camp after Seiya Suzuki sustained an injury during the World Baseball Classic.

To be fair, Conforto hit .342 with a .928 OPS in spring, so it wasn't the worst bet in the world for Chicago despite his terrible track record with the Dodgers.

But in spring training, he got the opportunity to tee off of a few minor leaguers and pad his stats within a small sample size. Now that he's back under the bright lights, he can't handle it.

Cubs fans just started turning on all-time Dodgers bust Michael Conforto

Conforto has started two games for the Cubs in Suzuki's absence — splitting time in right field with Matt Shaw, who was converted into a utility player after Chicago signed Alex Bregman to take over a third base full-time — and he's only completed one of them.

In his second start, he was taken out after two at-bats (shocker, he struck out both times) and replaced by Shaw, who immediately hit a single to advance a runner and then stole second base.

It'll still be at least a week or so until Suzuki returns. He was eligible to come off of the IL on Wednesday, but he'll get a rehab assignment before making his season debut.

Whenever that happens, there goes Conforto.

There may be a team willing to take a flier on him despite the sharp and seemingly unshakable decline because the Cubs will be eating his already negligible salary. If he lands with a bottom feeder, maybe they'll be willing to keep him throughout the year and see if he can salvage something. But the Cubs can't afford it — and we could've told them that before they signed him.