Come to Los Angeles, Andrew Heaney! We'll get your fastball mended real good with the Dodgers. We'll teach you all our secrets. We'll let you in on the finer points of pitching. We'll get you paid by somebody else.
And then, when you least expect it, our lineup will ambush you with dingers. Solid strategy, hasn't failed yet.
Heaney has been on a roller coaster ride more extreme than anything at Disney in recent seasons. Yes, even more extreme than Aerosmith's Rock n' Roller Coaster. By a little bit.
After being dealt to the Yankees midway through the 2021 season, Heaney proved un-unlockable, posting a garish 7.32 ERA and allowing a hard-to-believe 13 homers in 35.2 innings. The Dodgers jumped the field and signed him at the very start of the offseason that followed, shocking many ... only for him to whiff 110 in 72.2 innings pitched with a 3.10 ERA. He wasn't always available, but when he was ... dominant revenge against New York's pitching coaches.
That led to a one-year, $12.5 million to help flesh out the Texas Rangers' rotation this season as the Team That Loves Former Dodgers tries to return to relevance. Mookie Betts sure is glad to see him go, it seems, considering he smashed a leadoff home run off Heaney in his first spring appearance Wednesday afternoon.
Dodgers star Mookie Betts greeted Andrew Heaney rudely with the Texas Rangers
It hasn't all been smiles and laughter at Dodgers camp thus far in 2023, but this was a welcome addition to the offseason highlight reel.
Couple that with the news that old friend Tyler Anderson's first start as an Angel will come ... Friday against the Dodgers, too, and it's been a banner week for preseason vengeance.
Hopefully, the bats stay hot for that encounter, too, so both fringe lefties can get a taste.