Max Scherzer delivers intense postgame rant after ejection for 'far stickier' hands

Max Scherzer's revenge start against the Los Angeles Dodgers didn't last long on Wednesday afternoon.

After dramatic encounters with the umpiring crew not once, not twice, but thrice, Scherzer was finally tossed after the top of the fourth inning. According to the right-hander, he washed his hands. He changed his glove. Nothing was enough for umpire Phil Cuzzi, who wouldn't hear his pleas and chucked him from the game after an unsuccessful sticky hands checkpoint.

Well, successful for Cuzzi. Clearly, in the umpire's view, he gave Scherzer plenty of chances to make things right, and the pitcher never fully complied.

In Scherzer's view, he had nothing to apologize for, which he made perfectly clear in a postgame rant for the ages.

Either Scherzer's an extremely intense liar and has no qualms about throwing his children's lives into the fray, or he's telling the truth and Cuzzi was on a power trip.

Regardless, it's a shame the Dodgers were unable to snatch a late victory, given how helpfully the umpires conspired to hand one to them.

Umpire Phil Cuzzi ejects Max Scherzer vs Dodgers for stickiest hands he's ever felt

According to Andy Martino of SNY, a 10-game suspension is looming for Scherzer, which is automatically triggered if the umpires deem a pitcher's hands to be overly sticky. Scherzer can state vehemently, over and over again, that it was just the effect of sweat and rosin. He can mumble, "Sweat and rosin, sweat and rosin" repeatedly until the media falls into a trance. He can toss his kids into the proceedings.

But, as home plate umpire Dan Bellino said after the game, Scherzer's hand was the "stickiest it has been since I’ve been inspecting hands.” That's tough to ignore.

"“When he came out to start the bottom of the fourth inning, that’s when we realized the level of stickiness on his hand was much worse than it was even in the initial inspection that had taken place two innings prior,” Bellino said after the 5-3 Mets win. “So following the proper protocols, Phil immediately recognized it. Phil then asked me to come in to verify that the hand was too sticky. Both Phil and I touched his hand. “As far as the level of stickiness, this was the stickiest it has been since I’ve been inspecting hands, which goes back three seasons. Compared to the first inning, the level of stickiness, it was so sticky that when we touched his hand, our fingers were sticking to his hand, and whatever was on there remained on our fingers afterwards for a couple of innings where you could still feel that the fingers were sticking together.”"

- Dan Bellino

Cuzzi may have flagged the glove first, but Bellino fought back against Scherzer's assertions with comments that were somehow more damning than the pitcher's rantings.

Either Scherzer found a way to use so much rosin that his hands became the stickiest of the entire Sticky Generation, or someone's fibbing here.

Luckily, Scherzer -- and the Mets bullpen -- are no longer the Dodgers' problem.